


Nothing more than empty dreams.

by meIiorism



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Titles, Irondad, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, i originally wrote this at like 3am, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 10:28:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16406696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meIiorism/pseuds/meIiorism
Summary: Anything beyond his bedroom seemed invisible to Tony Stark as he tossed and turned uncontrollably. Two-thirty in the morning, and he hadn't slept this rough in a while. The silk sheets were crumbled, thrown over his fiancée without a care for the destruction he was causing within the shared bed. In his restless slumber, a thin coating of sweat glistening atop his forehead in the almost starless night.Terrified last words echoed around Titan, but Stark could only focus on one person."I DON'T WANNA GO!"The scream thumped against ivory bones. Loomed the depths of the billionaire's labyrinth of a mind. Months had passed, but Peter Parker's sorrow-struck face refused to leave his subconscious. He was so young, only sixteen, and he already had Earth's future resting in the palms of his ink-stained palms. Stark couldn't believe he put so much pressure on the teen. Peter was too young to die; he was too young to have gone through that. He didn't deserve it. Tony blamed himself. He blamedhimself. It washisfault.His fau━━━━"  .  .  .  I'm sorry."—— Or, Tony has a panic attack and needs Peter's reassurance.





	Nothing more than empty dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Infinity War is won, with the assumption that everyone makes it home okay.

Anything beyond his bedroom seemed invisible to Tony Stark as he tossed and turned uncontrollably. Two-thirty in the morning, and he hadn't slept this rough in a while. The silk sheets were crumbled, thrown over his fiancée without a care for the destruction he was causing within the shared bed. In his restless slumber, a thin coating of sweat glistening atop his forehead in the almost starless night. 

Terrified last words echoed around Titan, but Stark could only focus on one person. 

"I DON'T WANNA GO!"

The scream thumped against ivory bones. Loomed the depths of the billionaire's labyrinth of a mind. Months had passed, but Peter Parker's sorrow-struck face refused to leave his subconscious. He was so young, only sixteen, and he already had Earth's future resting in the palms of his ink-stained palms. Stark couldn't believe he put so much pressure on the teen. Peter was too young to die; he was too young to have gone through that. He didn't deserve it. Tony blamed himself. He blamed  _himself._ It was  _his_ fault.  _His fau━━━━_  
  
"  .  .  .  I'm sorry."

Tony's grip had started to falter on Peter's shoulder and his apologetic mien never once left Tony's mind.  _You have nothing to be sorry for_ , Tony wanted to say. The words were mere ghosts upon his tongue, to forever be lost within the verse of things never to be said. He could hear himself from the year prior, "and if you die, I feel like that's on me." And he's never spoken more regrettable words than that. The upbeat boy was thrown off cause; the usually bright chestnuts now reduced to red-rimmed empty voids.

Tony could see,  _feel_ , the boy disfiguring beneath him. His legs. His lower body. His chest. His arms. His face. It only took a few seconds, but to Tony, it felt like an eternity. He didn't dare move, didn't  _dare_ to bring the boy into a hug. He could've comforted him, said something more than "you're alright," but he  _didn't_. And that's something he'll forever hold against himself.  
  
In his sleep, digits gripped the bottom sheet tightly, not wanting to see his protege disappear again.

Before he could even  _think_ , Peter Parker was gone. He was reduced to nothing more than a pile of black ash which seemed to blow away in the subtle breezes of the desolate planet. Hands made contact with where he just was but  .  .  .  he was too late.  
  
The panicked breaths wouldn't stop (  _oh **god** , what have I done?_  ). He was supposed to protect Peter Parker, help him,  _support_ him. It was his fault. _His_ fault.  _His fau_ ━━━━

And, just like that, Tony Stark was awake. He sat there for a moment, teary-eyed and tight-chested.

When Peter had returned, Tony was the first to tackle him into a hug. Years of built-up emotions exploded within him, and tears began to run glistening tracks down the stress-induced withering face. At that moment, the only person that mattered was Peter Parker. The kid.  _His_ kid. He who was far too good for the sorrow-filled life he was born into. Apologises slipped left, right and centre from the older man, yet all Peter was doing was mumbling nonsense about how it  _wasn't_ his fault. He couldn't believe how good-willed the kid was ━━━━ he couldn't believe that Peter wasn't blaming him.

His heart was a gun in his chest as he clambered his way out of the bed. His sight was dimming too quickly for his liking. His hand pressed against the headrest to steady himself, and his gazes flicked back to the woman he shared the bed with. She just looked so peaceful, so at ease  .  .  .  Tony couldn't find it in himself to wake her up. The sight of the beauty that he shared his life with was enough to bring a warmth to his heart, a sense of humanity. But this time the attack got the best of him.

There was a stumble to his movements as he worked his way out of the bedroom. Palms felt out for the walls to help guide him. It was like someone was squeezing his lungs; breaths were oscillated and rare. The zephyrs he managed to trickle out were painful and almost felt faux. Dark hair lay in a sleep-induced disarray upon his cranium in disastrous waves.

A cough echoed from the deep of his thorax and if jerked FRIDAY to attention. "Sir, it seems you are having a panic attack," the A.I. started, the Irish inflexion soft to Stark's ears, "would you like me to wake Ms Potts?"

Stark blinked; loose tears slipped down his face and another cough fell from him. "No, no," his voice was weak as he addressed the A.I. "That won't be necessary." He had gotten himself stuck into the mindset that, since he's done it alone before, he can do it alone again. His palm clutched his chest and he wheezed.

"Would you like me to contact Peter, sir?" FRIDAY asked. Tony was confused; he didn't realise that he had Peter as an emergency contact number. Though, with the number flashing in front of him in bright blue, he couldn't help but accept the offer. He needed reassurance, and FRIDAY knew that.

"Call the kid."

Thankfully, Peter Parker was awake. The couldn't sleep. He rarely did now. Whenever he tried to sleep, all he saw was the panic on Tony Stark's face. The  _loss_. All he could hear was his own panicked voice. He could feel Tony's last touch on him ━━━━ the last embrace meaningful embrace he'd have for a while. It was like the memory was stuck on loop  .  .  .  and then there were Ned Leed's voicemails.

They were stuck in his head. The small voice of Peter's best friend,  _longest_ friend, worried for  _him_. He hated that he had caused the boy to feel that way. To feel so alone. "Peter?" , "Peter, are you okay? The news says that Mr Stark has gone missing." , "MJ just turned into dust, where are you? Are you okay?" , "Peter, May and I are worried." , "May's crying; where are you?" and, the most heartbreaking one of them all, "Peter,  _please_. I don't wanna be alone again."

It was his fault. He was the reason his best friend and last remaining family were alone. He  _left_ them alone. Tears always prick his eyes when he thinks about what Ned and Aunt May were going through. Peter blamed  _himself_. No one else ━━━━ not Stark, not Thanos,  _himself_. He was the one who left Ned alone, he was the reason Tony was so beaten up over it, he was the reason May had nearly lost her mind. He blamed  _himself._ It was  _his_  fault.  _His fau━━━━_ the familiar tone of his phone began to ring.

 _Mr Stark_ the caller ID read. Digits danced over the green answer button for a ring or two ( long enough to leave Tony wondering whether he was awake or not ), until he pressed down and held the device to his ear. "Mr Stark?"

The greeting was met by the jagged breathing of Mr Stark. Tony had hoped that peter's usual optimistic tones would have helped him, but his hopes were quickly demolished. His eyes were screwed shut tightly, palm clenched tightly to his chest. He leaned against the wall for support before realising a pained gasp. " .  .  .  Kid  .  .  ."

The hair on Peter's arm stood up ( " _You're alright_ ," repeating somewhere in his head. ) and he rushed to his feet. Everything suddenly felt so much more. He knew what was going on. The phone was held tightly to the pale skin of his face, the cold screen touching his chin ━━━━ Peter had known about Tony's PTSD and anxiety long before he actually  _met_ the guy. He learned from one of Tony's public attack years back; how he'd stumbled into his suit, away from the prying eyes of bystanders and the press. Peter found that it made  _the_ Iron Man seem more human. More man; less iron.

"Mr Stark, hey. You're okay, I'm okay, we're okay," his vocals were soothing and soft. "Just breathe, okay? Breathe in for three, hold for five, out for three. I'm here. I'm in Queens! In my bedroom! Talking to you! I'm okay, and I'm never leaving again." Tony did as he instructed, clinging onto the words like nothing else mattered in the world.

"Hey, you'll never guess what!" Peter began again, his tired voice full of a sudden excitement. "We went on a field trip today to the zoo today. For once, nothing went wrong! Which is a first. Anyway, Ned pulled me away to look at the spider exhibit," and with that, Peter managed to crack a laugh, a simper dancing over his lips when he heard Tony's breathing begin to regulate. "I heard you sponsored the spiders ━━ the door to the room had the big Avengers' A on it so I could only guess. It was so cool! Do you think we could take a team trip there? I bet I could convince Nat to take a picture with the black widow spider they have. Maybe we can get the wizards to come!"

Peter paused for a moment to let it all sink it. He knew how much Tony loved to hear about his day. "Mr ━━ Mr Stark?" His voice was quiet now, all previous enthusiasm replaced by a broken tone. "I know you still think that it was your fault that I  .  .  .  nevermind, that doesn't matter. Just know that I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault. It was my choice to come."

Tony took a deep breath in, then let it out. "Yeah, a stupid choice at that," he chuckled, though there was no humour to the noise. "You fought selflessly, you fought for the little things. And I'll forever admire that."

"You made me an Avenger up there, Mr Stark. Like, a real life Avenger! That's so cool!" Peter now spoke with pride, and that made Tony release a raspy chuckle. "It wasn't your fault, Mr Stark." His eyes flickered to where he knew the Avengers compound was. It was out of his sight, but he knew it was never too far away. They were close together now and that's all they needed to remember.

Tony let the words fill his usually busy mind; his breathing was now much more regular and his heartbeat had stopped shooting off bullets. He could feel his fears slowly slipping away into the dead of the night and his gazes fell to the window and the dark clouds that circulated the skies. His nerves eased and he took his first steady breath of the night.

Peter took note of Tony's now looser breathing. "Are you okay now, Mr Stark?"  
  
Cracked lips curved a smile and Tony spoke two single words that brought Peter to smile; "Thanks, kid."

Everything else in the world can wait ━━━━ all that mattered was that they were together again. The father and son duo was together again. And if they happened to wind up at an ice cream stand at ten in the morning for breakfast, it was  _not_ Tony Stark's idea.

**Author's Note:**

> well! i originally wrote this at, like, three in the morning. this is the more, uh, polished?? version, i guess you could call it. 
> 
> maybe i'll write that trip to the zoo eventually??
> 
> anywayS, hope it was okay! feel free to leave comments; constructive criticism is always welcomed!


End file.
